


I'd rather be an extraterrestrial

by tanakasan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comedy, Gen, M/M, One Shot, Slice of Life, funny ending, group project, iwaizumi wants to secretly strangle him, light fluff, oikawa is an alien obsessed idiot, or not so secretly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:53:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21654814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tanakasan/pseuds/tanakasan
Summary: Oikawa is a smart, but lazy idiot who has a short attention span to anything that is not related to aliens.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26
Collections: Iwaoiks Fics





	I'd rather be an extraterrestrial

**Author's Note:**

  * For [closetweeb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/closetweeb/gifts).



“Iwa-channn, why do we have to work on the project right now?” Oikawa whines from his bed. “There’s gonna be a special screening of the new UFO documentary tonight at 8. I need to get ready!” 

Not glancing at him, Iwaizumi sighs from Oikawa’s desk as he flips through his history textbook. “Shitty-kawa, it’s 2pm in the afternoon. You have plenty of time to get ready. Oh, and you must be out of your damn mind if you think you're going anywhere before this project is finished.”

Oikawa frowns at him. “But Iwa-chan! You don’t understand, this is super important to me! I need to be there at 6pm so I can line up early. Those special passes sold out a while ago so it’s first come first served. Pretty please, just let me go!”, he pleads.

“Well maybe you should have thought about that before you spent five hours yesterday reading your dumb alien magazines, hmm? This project was assigned two weeks ago and you still haven’t done any part of your research. We’re presenting tomorrow, and no way in hell am I gonna let you out of this room before it’s completed,” Iwaizumi replies, still not glancing up from his textbook. 

“Well it's not like you can physically restrain me in my room!” Oikawa huffs, blowing his brown curly locks away from his face. 

Iwaizumi snorts and crosses his arms. “Oh believe me, I can.”

“I hate you, Iwa-chan! You’re gonna ruin this opportunity for me, I've been looking forward to this event for months! And for your information, it wasn’t some random alien magazine! It’s an astrobiology academic journal providing crucial data pertaining to the early evolution of extraterrestrial life existence and how it’s going to effect-”

“You’re such a dumbass!” Iwaizumi says, cutting him off. 

Fed up with Oikawa’s whining, he loudly slams his textbook close and turns around in his seat to glare at the boy. “This project is worth 25% of our final grade. How is researching extraterrestrials more important? And for the millionth time, there is no such thing as alien existence!” Iwaizumi angrily states. 

By now, Iwaizumi had grown used to these ridiculous arguments with Oikawa. They’ve had countless arguments about his stupid alien beliefs since early childhood and since then, he knows that arguing with Oikawa about aliens is like trying to reason with an upset child. He should just let Oikawa believe that “aliens were going to be the saviors of earth once the planet is nearing mass destruction”, whatever that means. However, it still riles up him up when the idiot goes on a tirade about it. 

Standing up from his seat at the desk, he stomps over to Oikawa’s bed to continue his rant. “AND if you had actually done your damn research on the Taisho era, then maybe, I don’t know, we wouldn’t be sitting here arguing about aliens and me having to literally babysit you, and then maybe we could’ve been watching the dumb alien film instead!”

“Iwa-chan, I’m not gonna have the same argument with you right now about the merits of how real exterrestrial life is! And besides, I’m pretty darn sure Makki-chan and Mattsun-chan went out in the evening to watch that new shark- invading-the-world movie, no? So why aren’t you scolding them too, huh?” Oikawa replies, wagging his index finger at him.

Calmly, Iwaizumi leans in close to Oikawa’s face and holds his gaze. “Because, you idiot, they finished their powerpoint slides over a week ago. We’ve all been waiting for you to finish your part.”

“Well, why didn’t you say anything earlier?” Oikawa scoffs.

“You truly are shitty, haven’t I been telling you for the past week-”

“Wait a minute…” Oikawa interrupts. “Did you say WE could have been watching the ‘dumb’ alien film?” 

Iwaizumi stops, and suddenly shifts his gaze away. “No, of course not dumbass. What I meant was that YOU could’ve been watching the movie, that’s all.” He says while shuffling his feet.

Now excited, Oikawa jumps up and down on his bed with giddiness. “Oh my goodness, you didn’t! Iwa-chan, did you get us passes?!” 

Sighing, Iwaizumi plops back down in the chair with resignation. Wrinkling his brow, he begrudgingly tells Oikawa “maybe”.  
__________

It was five hours later, and after much back and forth arguing between the two, Oikawa finally completed his part of the project (well, most of it) and Iwaizumi edited and added the finishing touches to the powerpoint. They could finally make it in time for the UFO screening that Oikawa had so desperately been trying to go to.

“Hooray, Iwa-chan! Aren’t you excited? We finished it in record time! Although I still don’t understand why we couldn’t finish it after the screening?” Oikawa asks.

For the upteenth-time, Iwaizumi sighs yet again. “Crappy-kawa, you really don’t pay any attention to anything besides your stupid extraterrestials, do you? We had to submit our powerpoint online to Takeda-sensei tonight before 11pm”.

“And this is why you’re my holy savior! What would I do without you, my dearest Iwa-chan?” Oikawa says teasingly.

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “Oi, just shut up, you garbage can.”  
__________

It was a calm, warm summer evening, with the cicadas chirping in the background. As they stroll side-by-side along a dirt path in the local park towards the cinema, Oikawa leans into Iwaizumi. 

“Say, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa quietly mumbles. “I know you still don’t believe in aliens, but I appreciate you coming along with me.”

Iwaizumi glances at Oikawa, and snorts. “Happy birthday, Oikawa”. 

“My birthday isn’t until next week!” Oikawa says in surprise. “Also, how did you manage to get passes? They’ve been sold out for months!”

Kicking a few rocks on the unpaved ground, Iwaizumi gives him a side-eyed look and shrugs. “I knew how much you’ve been wanting to see it so I had to bribe that Karasuno libero at the cinema to get extra passes”. 

“No, you didn’t!”, Oikawa gasps. 

Still shrugging, Iwaizumi merely looks at Oikawa and gives him a half-smile. “It’s no big deal. Let’s just say someone is buying the shorty garigari-kun popsicles for the next month.” 

Suddenly, Oikawa puts a hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder and stops him. “Thank you, Hajime,” he whispers, while feeling a blush starting to creep up his neck. 

Pausing in his steps, Iwaizumi looks over at the boy standing next to him and meets his soft brown eyes. This time, he looks at Oikawa gently and gives him his rare Iwaizumi smile. “Anything for you, Tooru”.  
__________

“And this is why Japan’s imperial era names are societal bookmarks for politics, culture, and history.” Hanamaki proudly finishes. 

It was the next day at school, and they were giving the final presentations in their history class. Iwaizumi’s group was the last group to go, because the idiot Oikawa was late to class (again). He didn’t even know how this was possible as they walked to school together and history was their first class. They recieve a polite round of applause from Takeda-sensei and the class after Hanamaki finishes his last sentence. Relieved that their presentation went on without a hitch, Iwaizumi breathes a sigh of relief. 

Then all of a sudden, Oikawa clears his throat. 

With an air of confidence, Oikawa begins to speak. “Thank you Makki-chan! But before we end our presentation, I’d like to include an honorable mention to what we’ve researched…” 

Confused, Iwaizumi looks at him, wondering what the idiot could be going on about, as Hanamaki just presented the last slide. 

“As you all are aware, we’ve had such a changing and evolving society, and this speaks true for our future, as well as the past...,” Oikawa continues on. 

“Oh no”, Iwaizumi thinks. For some reason, a feeling of dread began to creep up inside of him, and he could feel his body tensing up. His face starts to burn hot, and he clenches his fists. Iwaizumi definitely knew where this was heading. 

“-And so, our one last extra slide is on the presence of extraterrestrials in the early eras of Japan!” Oikawa exclaims. 

Silently, Iwaizumi slowly turns to face Oikawa, his face glowering with rage. Hanamaki and Matsukawa turn to each other, giving each other a knowing look as they knew what was going to happen. They both begin to cover their ears with their hands.

Within the next five seconds, “TRASHY-KAWA” could be heard across the building as the sound vibrated down every classroom and hallway within a 3 mile radius.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked this one shot! It's the first fic I've ever written, hope it wasn't too bad!
> 
> And thank you closetweeb for giving me this prompt, sorry it was like 2 months late ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


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